Potty-training chronicles

The Moose, just as he was about to go to the bathroom:

"INCOMING!"

How to play it cool, dad edition

Kids will test your sanity. There will be times when you are so proud of your kids that you want to squeeze them until their ears pop off, and there will be times when you are so upset/disappointed/angry/about-to-lose-your-mind with them that you want to squeeze them until their ears pop off.
So what do you do to keep your cool? Any good dad worth his salt knows to shrug his shoulders, shake his head and walk away, a plan that works with any situation. Hey, life is out of your control. Just let go.

UPDATE: Mrs. Wahoo wanted to know the motivation behind this post, and really there's nothing much to it. Sometimes, like today, the kids are great, and sometimes, like yesterday, the kids aren't so great. Sometimes (I've used sometimes three times already in three sentences) we dwell too much on why are kids are the way they are. In the over-analyzing, we lose sight that they're kids. We try to make things better for them (we're really not apathetic losers letting their kids wander through the great unknown) but most things are beyond our control. They will find their way, for better or worse, with guidance from us (for better or worse). 
I'm rambling. Sorry.

8 a.m. breakdown

Old Wahoo's family celebrated the first morning-before-school breakdown of the new year in vintage style, complete with screaming, yelling and punching. Yep, mornings are great around here. Thankfully, the third-grader added some unintended wit by capping his tantrum with a classic quote: "Don't make me regret this, which I will."

Details are unimportant

The first-grader couldn't wait to tell me he made a new friend at school today.
"What's his name," I asked.
"I don't know," he said. "But he likes 'Star Wars: Clone Wars.'"

The Young Reader

The third-grader enjoying a book at his new desk. He finished his evening by reading for about 90 minutes. He's looking at a science book, of course.

Rules of Engagement, Part 23

In the midst of a brother-vs.-brother meltdown outside of church (because who doesn't want to brawl after listening to a sermon about community and understanding), the first-grader laid down the rules of engagement to his older brother. "I hate to have to do this now," he said, "but now I have to throw my shoe at you."

Words of the Week

I started reading "Tom Sawyer" to the boys. They're not too interested in the story, but Tom definitely reminds me of the soon-to-be third-grader.

"Although my book is intended mainly for the entertainment of boys and girls, I hope it will not be shunned by men and women on that account, for part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they once were themselves, and of how they felt and thought and talked, and what queer enterprises they sometimes engaged in."
- Mark Twain, in the preface to "Tom Sawyer"

First Law of Family Dynamics

Old Wahoo's First Law of Family Dynamics states that with three or more children, one child shall be in meltdown mode at all times in order for there to be equilibrium in the universe. The one exception to that rule is when all three children have meltdowns at the same time, as chaos supersedes all laws.

Words of the Week

I've been reading the Chronicles of Narnia to the boys. (Mrs. Wahoo has been doing the heavy lifting, though). Can you tell?

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
- C.S. Lewis

Keeping cool

The weekend was hot. Rob kept cool.

Words of the Week

Words to live by from one of the greatest presidents.

Whatever you are, be a good one.
- Abraham Lincoln

Imagination on the Loose

The Moose just doused me with imaginary water after a make-believe fire had consumed me in flames. I told him he had a great imagination, and then I asked him where my imagination was. "It ran away," he said.

The Sporting Life

The family just returned from a vacation Up North in Antrim County, Michigan. It was a great time filled with sailing, fishing, kayaking and more of the sporting life.

Words of the Week

Emma Lazarus was born 161 years ago on July 22, 1849. She wrote the poem - words often forgotten today - inscribed on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty.

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she

With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Sleepytime

Sleep is like a drug - or at least like Coca-Cola. I need more sleep than ever, and I get less sleep than ever. I never liked to nap, but now I must take a nap, usually taking one every day. Sleep has become a necessary weapon to take on work, kids and life. It's a deterrent - like nuclear missiles in the Cold War - keeping the dark side at bay.

Do Good Parents Matter?

Of course, good parents matter, and of course, I try my best every day, realizing that every day I need to work at being a better dad. But a recent article in The New York Times suggests that good parents may not lead to good children. Here's the final paragraph:

For better or worse, parents have limited power to influence their children. That is why they should not be so fast to take all the blame — or credit — for everything that their children become. 

Certainly, there are large parts of this that make sense. I cringe every time I see or hear a person lose patience at someone else's parenting skills (or lack thereof). It's not easy, and each child presents unique challenges, some much tougher than others.
Can parents influence their children's behavior? Yes and no. That's a sobering thought.

Days Like This

Mama told me they'd be days like this.

Celebrity Parents

Generally, Old Wahoo has no problem with celebrities. If people want to look at pictures of celebrities or read stories about celebrities or hear raging phone calls from celebrities, no problem. Sometimes I check out those stories, too. It's a great way to kill time while it takes 45 minutes to buy a bottle of Tylenol at CVS.
But I don't check out stories about celebrity parents. Thanks, but I don't  care what Shiloh (who names their kid after a bloody Civil War battle, anyway?) wears or what TomCat are (is?) making little Suri do between Scientology meetings or how Tom and Gisele divvy up parenting duties. (Though I think Gisele is up against Marisa Miller in the bikini bracket in the previous link).
Besides, I need to get back to reading about the latest Bachelor scandal. And, yes, I know I never will get back the five minutes I used in writing this post.

Words of the Week

Bo knows priorities. It's scary that he sounds like a voice of reason.

"My No. 1 goal is to keep my train on the track, and not worry about anybody else's. That's the way I've always lived my life. (But) if you're stupid enough to go out and do some stupid (stuff), then be a man and suffer the consequences. I have no sympathy for you."
- Bo Jackson, in an article in USA Today

The Big Money Question

Lately, the older boys have asked more and more about money. Important questions, too, such as "When will you give me more money?" or "When can I get more money to buy toys?" or "Will you buy me this?" They're not particularly bad about it, but they do act like acquiring more money and more things is a birthright. There are plenty of tips on this topic, such as in this reasonable article by Ron Lieber in The New York Times. While honesty, straightforwardness and logic are laudable goals, I would prefer advice on how to avoid talking about difficult topics with your kids and still make them better. Where's the story on brainwashing? Or just perfect passive parenting? Or how 'bout this one: "Watching Sports on TV with Your Kids Will Make Them Smarter, Healthier, Happier and Easier to Manipulate"? I think there's grant money available for that one. I know just how to ask for it, too.