Celebrity Parents

Generally, Old Wahoo has no problem with celebrities. If people want to look at pictures of celebrities or read stories about celebrities or hear raging phone calls from celebrities, no problem. Sometimes I check out those stories, too. It's a great way to kill time while it takes 45 minutes to buy a bottle of Tylenol at CVS.
But I don't check out stories about celebrity parents. Thanks, but I don't  care what Shiloh (who names their kid after a bloody Civil War battle, anyway?) wears or what TomCat are (is?) making little Suri do between Scientology meetings or how Tom and Gisele divvy up parenting duties. (Though I think Gisele is up against Marisa Miller in the bikini bracket in the previous link).
Besides, I need to get back to reading about the latest Bachelor scandal. And, yes, I know I never will get back the five minutes I used in writing this post.

Another Father's Thoughts

Old Wahoo asked friend and Grosse Pointe Woods neighbor Mike Ramsey his thoughts on fatherhood. Mike graduated from the University of Ohio, and he's a big Reds, Bengals and Ohio State fan.

Age? 35
Number of children and their ages? two, Cate -5 and Wes -2

Occupation? Automotive Journalist

What is the best part about being a father? My kids are hilarious. They make me laugh, and keep me from being selfish. They also make me appreciate my wife more.

What is the toughest challenge you face as a father? Trying to be a disciplinarian when I don't see them as much as I'd like. It's tough to be the heavy when you miss seeing your kids.

How does your job affect your responsibilities and desires as a father?
It can be a big impediment. I work a lot of late nights and can be out of town for several days at a time. In some ways though, it makes the time with them better.

How do you balance your career and your family life?
I make a real effort to say no when I have to the things that would make me stay late at work. I try to warn my bosses that I need to leave to do certain things. I also realize that sometimes that isn't possible.

How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? How are you a different father than your father? I suppose that in a lot of ways things aren't all that different. I'm a different person than my dad, but our styles are pretty similar. He is a lot more quiet than I am, and maybe not as openly affectionate as I am with my kids. But he was/is a very good dad.

How has being a father affected your relationship with your father? We were already close, so I guess it's only changed my understanding of him. He was a younger father than me, and I often try to imagine his life in the same period I am living. He did a good job and I hope I do as well as he did.

The first kids

Old Wahoo knows this story will warm Mrs. Wahoo's heart: The first kids - next to Old Wahoo's, of course - have a bed time. Mrs. Wahoo is big on this, and we agree: when the kids go to sleep on time, they have a much better chance at having a good tomorrow. They act, perform, behave, etc. much better when they have a full night's rest. The Obamas have this one right. This is a stimulus plan all parents should support.

Another Father's Thoughts

I asked my friend Ron Bernas for his views on fatherhood and the joys and challenges he faces. Ron lives with his family in the Detroit area.

Age: 45.

Four children: Patrick, 11; Charlie, 9; Daniel, 7; Eleanor, 5

Occupation: I am in marketing and public relations.

What is the best part about being a father?
The best part of being a father is watching your kids grow and seeing them become people. It's also a good excuse to revisit things you loved as a child -- books, movies, etc. -- in the guise of "introducing them to the kids."

What is the toughest challenge you face as a father?
The toughest part of being a father is finding the patience.

How has fatherhood changed since you were a child?
When I grew up, fathers weren't really around much. They'd go off to work in the morning and we'd see them around dinnertime. The fathers I knew weren't all that engaged in their children's lives unless it was as a coach on a sports team. They were the bad guys, the ones we hid things from and were in charge of the discipline. I often wonder if they felt stifled in that role or if that was the one they were comfortable with. Fathers today seem much more aware of what's going on in their kids' lives. They volunteer at school, they know their kids' friends, etc.

What’s the best advice that you've received about fatherhood?
I don't know that I ever really got any advice on fatherhood. Too often, tips on how to be a father come in corny little books with stock art of dads who seem impossibly into their kids. My dad died before I was a father, but he was, for all intents and purposes, one of those nonengaged fathers and other dads don't sit around sharing advice on parenting. One piece of advice that always stuck with me came from the movie "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?" Sidney Poitier and his father are having a fight and the father says "You owe me respect." Sidney yells back "I owe you nothing! ... You brought me into this world. And from that day you owed me everything you could ever do for me like I will owe my son." It's not warm and fuzzy, but it's true. And I don't mean owing in terms of things. I mean owing in terms of love and support to help them grow into a productive member of society.

Also, there's this advice: Don't do something once you don't want to do forever. This is applicable only for older kids: For instance, if your kid gets up in the middle of the night and you get up and snuggle her and sing to her until she falls back asleep, expect to do it from that day on. Give into a kid's tantrum? Expect to do it forever. Make a different meal because they don't like what you're serving? You'll do it forever.

Manners matter

Good manners, or unfortunately bad manners, can leave a lasting impression as this article in The New York Times makes clear. This is one of my biggest challenges: raising kids who respect themselves, and more importantly, others.