Another Father's Thoughts

Old Wahoo asked friend and Grosse Pointe Woods neighbor Mike Ramsey his thoughts on fatherhood. Mike graduated from the University of Ohio, and he's a big Reds, Bengals and Ohio State fan.

Age? 35
Number of children and their ages? two, Cate -5 and Wes -2

Occupation? Automotive Journalist

What is the best part about being a father? My kids are hilarious. They make me laugh, and keep me from being selfish. They also make me appreciate my wife more.

What is the toughest challenge you face as a father? Trying to be a disciplinarian when I don't see them as much as I'd like. It's tough to be the heavy when you miss seeing your kids.

How does your job affect your responsibilities and desires as a father?
It can be a big impediment. I work a lot of late nights and can be out of town for several days at a time. In some ways though, it makes the time with them better.

How do you balance your career and your family life?
I make a real effort to say no when I have to the things that would make me stay late at work. I try to warn my bosses that I need to leave to do certain things. I also realize that sometimes that isn't possible.

How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? How are you a different father than your father? I suppose that in a lot of ways things aren't all that different. I'm a different person than my dad, but our styles are pretty similar. He is a lot more quiet than I am, and maybe not as openly affectionate as I am with my kids. But he was/is a very good dad.

How has being a father affected your relationship with your father? We were already close, so I guess it's only changed my understanding of him. He was a younger father than me, and I often try to imagine his life in the same period I am living. He did a good job and I hope I do as well as he did.

Another Father's Thoughts

From time to time, I hope to talk to other fathers and get their thoughts on parenthood. My first guest is someone pretty close to me, my father, Steve Hetzler.

Age:  62
Number of Children:  Two, ages 35 and 33, 34 on Friday.
Occupation:    Controller of small commercial carpet sales and installation contractor.
What is the best part of being a father?  
Watching each phase in the development of your child, living in that moment.
What is the toughest challenge? 
I thought about this for a long time.  I'm not sure that any one thing really stuck out.  There is the one about maintaining ones composure when your child makes a scene in public (I'm sure I was not too successful at that) and the trying of ones patience, but perhaps the biggest challenge would be not to worry too much about funding college educations or lasting stigmas I may leave with an impressionable 3, 4, or 5 year old.
How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? 
I don't think fatherhood has changed from when I was a child.  I think fathers get stretched in the same directions now as they did then.  Making a living and making a life.  There are countless demands made upon ones time. 
How were you different father than your father? 
When I was growing up, I had, on more than one occasion, the thought how I would do things differently with my children.  Yet, looking back, I think I was a lot like my father in many ways.  After all, we draw clues from our fathers and don't even realize it.  The one thing I hope I wasn't was not being quite as aloof as my father.
How did fatherhood affect your relationship with your father? 
I felt as though I was now an equal, that there was an acceptance in our relationship of the persons we had become.  Rereading that I don't want to suggest that I wasn't accepted as a child, just that as a child I was a child.