Riddle Me This, Batman

The Moose idolizes his brothers, even to the point of wanting the same punishment as they do. After one of his older brothers "earned" a timeout this morning, the Moose plopped himself on the stairs beside his big brother, smiled broadly and said, "Me timeout, too." (Only with more consonants and less vowels, or vise versa).

Knowing that the big brother needed no one near him, Old Wahoo picked up the Moose and took him to his room so he could play. But the Moose decided to misbehave, and he acted so poorly that he deserved a timeout, giving Old Wahoo a fatherhood riddle.

What would you do? "Reward" him with a timeout? Or punish him by not punishing him?

Words of the Week

Keep an open mind, and don't let words deter you.

"I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts with reality."

- Winston Churchill

Giving Thanks

Rob just told me he can think of three things for which I'm thankful: Rob, Alex and Matt. He's right. I can't imagine what my life was like before they were around, and their smiles can make any day better.

I'm thankful for a lot more, and I have to thank them for that, too, because the boys have given me a greater appreciation for everything. So today, the day before Thanksgiving, I'd like to thank my parents, for raising me, looking after me and worrying about me, and for all their love. Thanks to my brother, for putting up with me, for being my best friend despite all the sibling dust-ups (much like the ones I witness now). Thanks to my grandmothers, for their wisdom and unconditional love. Thanks to Craig and Ginger, for all of their help, for their love of the boys and most importantly, for Laura. Thanks most of all to Laura, for being a fantastic mother and wife, for her steadfastness, her sweetness, her heart (and those beautiful eyes that well with tears).*

And thanks to all of my friends and family, for helping me to get by.

*Old Wahoo apologizes for the schmaltziness of this post. Happy Thanksgiving.

Words of the Week

Now is a time to be thankful.

"Not when the sense is dim,

But now from the heart of joy,

I would remember Him:

Take the thanks of a boy."

- Rev. H.C. Beeching

Another Father's Thoughts

Allan Barmak, a UVa graduate and former apartment-mate in Charlottesville, offers his thoughts on fatherhood to Old Wahoo.

Age? 36
Number of children and their ages? 3. Taylor (9), Macy (7), Greyson (4)
Occupation? Regional Sales Director
What is the best part about being a father? The pride that I have in my kids when they accomplish something they set out to do.
What is the toughest challenge you face as a father? Keeping my kids protected and safe without sheltering them.
How do you balance career and family responsibilities? What kind of challenges does you career present? It’s tough. I try to shut off work-related issues between dinner time and bed time- that’s family time. However, my sales territory is pretty big, so there are nights when I’m out on the road. I feel bad when I can’t be home at night. I also coach their soccer and basketball teams, so I leave all office work where it is when I head-off to practice.
How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? I think fathers take a more active role in raising the kids. With the increase in telecommuting, many fathers have the luxury of being able to spend more time with their kids, even if it’s just a matter of coming downstairs from the home office to take a 15-minute break.
How are you a different father than your father? Do you have different responsibilities or duties, either small or large? I think I’m more engaged with my kids’ athletic activities than my father. However, he was more engaged with academic activities than I am with my kids. I’m not exactly sure what “responsibilities” my father had (or what my mother gave him :) ), so unfortunately, I can’t really answer that.
What’s the best advice about fatherhood that you’ve received? The kids grow up fast. Work hard during the day, but stop at 6:00 to get back to your family. You can deal with any excess workload the next morning.

Thanks for your time, Allan, and best wishes to your family.

Roughing It

The kindergartner has a fever, so he's stayed home the last two days from school. Obviously, he's taking it easy, putting together puzzles, playing Legos and, of course, watching TV. That also means Old Wahoo is watching TV - lots of "Go Diego Go" and "Handy Manny" - and I can't help but think back to the old days when I was a kid.

When I got sick, I looked forward to watching all those cool TV shows during the day that I didn't normally get to see because of school. Unfortunately, my high expectations for a day in front of the cathode-ray tube usually were unmet. Without cable, there were few good choices. "The Price Is Right" always delivered, but there were only a couple of weak game shows, and I, if I were lucky, a rerun of "What's Happening." After my lunch of Campbell's chicken noodle soup, there was nothing on at all except soaps. I was so disappointed I even tried to rest.

Now, though, kids have it easy. They can choose from five or six different cartoons, they can fire up the DVD player, or even check out PBS (which has a much greater variety of shows than when I was a kid).

It's so much easier to be a couch potato now. The young ones don't know how lucky they are.

Tweet of the Week

Ready or not, from the world of Twitter. These words prove too true.

"Parenting reminder of the day: Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."

- Erin Witt Simmons

Words of the Week

From my favorite song in the fall, from one of my favorite bands.

Well, I know there's a reason to change.

Well, I know there's a time for us.

You think about the good times

And you live with all the bad.

You can feel it in the air,

Feeling right this time of year.

- Better Than Ezra, "This Time of Year"

Distractions

Old Wahoo just asked the big boys to get dressed so we could have a good, old-fashioned checkers showdown. But on their way to the big game, the guys got distracted. So now they are half-undressed and playing Legos. There's nothing like being a kid on Saturday mornings.

Worry-warts

The Onion makes me laugh, though I would put "When Will I Get More Coffee" at 51 percent of my thoughts, especially in the morning. This is from one of their recent Snapshots:

11.11.09 | Issue 45•46

How College Basketball Can Help Parents (Or Not)

The college basketball season tips off this week, and while the sport has taken a bad rap (see, Calipari, John, and Pitino, Rick), Old Wahoo still loves hoops.

While I know I should limit the kids' exposure to TV, I have to be realistic: they are going to watch college basketball with me. So they may as well know some common truths: North Carolina is evil, and Virginia (even when bad) is good. North Carolina, I'm convinced, made a deal with the Devil to win national titles in 1982 and '93. (Remember, the Heels won both of those games in New Orleans, the home of black magic, on crazy plays: Georgetown's Fred Brown passed the ball to James Worthy in '82, and Michigan's Chris Webber walked twice before calling a nonexistent timeout in '93).* Really, these are the only ground rules for watching college basketball with me, and the kids will know these by heart.

Perhaps more importantly, college basketball can show the kids that anything is possible. College basketball embraces the cliched-laden spectacle of March Madness, from the Big Dance to Cinderella, and those phrases can help the lazy parent pass on values such as hard work and never-give-up-ability (I like that word) to their couch-ridden children. Just talk about the amazing run of the 1983 N.C. State Wolfpack or the 1985 Villanova Wildcats (and try to have a selective memory, please), and tell them anything is possible.

Then, of course, there's Dick Vitale, and who wouldn't want him baby-sitting your children? In fact, I actually thought about imitating Mr. Vitale this morning when one of the kids starting acting up. I wanted to scream "YOU NEED A T-O, BABY!" at a misbehaving child, but then I imagined the look I would get from Mrs. Wahoo.

Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor. And sometimes I think I need a new favorite sport.

*I'm kidding. Sort of. And apologies to Joe Posnanski and Bill Simmons for the use of footnotes.

Happy Veterans Day

Thank you to all the veterans, including my grandmother Iris (who served as a nurse in France during World War II) and my father. Thanks for all your hard work and sacrifice.

Dark Movies for Kids

A.O. Scott wrote an essay in Sunday's The New York Times examining several recent children's movies, including "Where The Wild Things Are" and the upcoming "Fantastic Mr. Fox." Some people have said the movies are too dark for some children, and Scott acknowledges that may be true for some. But Scott argues though some movies indeed tackle tough topics and can be dark, ultimately they are more true to childhood experiences.

How do you feel? Are dark movies OK for kids? Do they need escapism? Or does it depend on the individual child?

Cowboy Up

Alex relished life as a cowboy. For more Halloween pictures, check out the Flickr stream.

Words of the Week

It's hard to believe that 20 years have passed since the Berlin Wall fell, and it's hard to believe that a whole generation has grown up having no first-hand knowledge of the wall. Perhaps it's even better to know that some things do get better over time; we are not doomed to failure, and the human race can embrace more democratic, more free and more liberated societies. (Quote is from a story in Sunday's The New York Times).

“For people from our generation, it’s just a part of German history. For us this division doesn’t really exist anymore.”

- Sebastian Melchior, 19

Distant replay

Yes, Halloween was almost a week ago, and yes, Thanksgiving is not all that far away, but I just wanted to share a couple trick-or-treat pictures. My favorite story from Halloween came from Alex, who scolded a neighbor for calling him Woody. "I'M NOT WOODY! I'M A COWBOY!"

Making Lists

Lists are always a fun, cheap way for a blog post or article, and in fact, lists pose a growing threat to long-form journalism and national literacy.*

There are lists about favorite movies, songs, football games, presidents, reality stars, "Star Wars" characters, character actors, etc. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, there are even lists about what makes a good father, and the group did some nice investigative research by going to Maxim to find its list. (I'm sure they weren't researching Halloween Hotties, Vol. 3, were they?) Anyway, here's the Maxim "hot" list:

1. Never Fight Over a Woman
2. Never Let Anyone See You Punch Inanimate Objects
3. Buy the Women in Your Life Flowers
4. Know How to Make Scrambled Eggs
5. Always Buy a Laid-off Friend a Beer
6. Never Get Mad ... Get Even
7. Silence Is Golden
8. Drink Liquor Straight Up
9. Own a Roll of Duct Tape
10. Never Be Afraid to Dance

Not to be outdone, the National Fatherhood Initiative came up with its own list, which is a little more boring (and contains less interesting pictures):

• Work hard, even when no one is watching.
• Know how to fix a flat tire.
  
• Don't have children until you are married to their mother.
  
• Honesty actually is the best policy.
  
• Know how to cook.
  
• Have a good strong handshake.
• Always look people in the eye when you talk to them.
• Serve your community.
  
• Be willing and able to do house chores, like vacuuming, ironing, dusting, and washing dishes.
  
• Treat all of the women in your life with respect.
• Don't be afraid to experience and process the full range of emotions.
• Always keep an updated resume.

Whatever, these lists prove a good waste of time when your son is watching "Go Diego Go." My only addition: Going for it on fourth-and-one always seems like the right thing to do, but sometimes it really is better to punt.

*I made that up.

Words of the Week

From Roger Ebert's Journal:

For me it is not spring but autumn that is the season of new beginnings.

- Roger Ebert