Dad Disease

Has this ever happened to you?

You are in the grocery store, looking for baking powder, yet all you see is baking soda. You look up and down each aisle twice before your 5-year-old son finally finds it for you.

Has this ever happened to you?

You are making a sandwich for lunch. You find the ham and the cheese, but you can't find the smoked turkey. You tear through the refrigerator, ripping through packages of shredded cheese, Parmesan and pepperoni, all in a futile search. Finally, you give up, curse your fate and blame an in-law to be named later. Then you realize the smoked turkey was in your hands the whole time, right under the bag of ham. You try to play it off, but your wife rolls her eyes, shakes her head and, if lucky, offers an insightful comment, such as "You're as bad as the kids" or "Really! Did you even look first?"

I admit it: These stories, or something close to them, have happened to me. I suffer from Dad Disease, an affliction that more than 85.2 million fathers in North America deal with every day. Dad Disease causes forgetfulness, numbness and numerous, though fortunately odorless, brain farts.

Yes, you remembered to take out the garbage. Yes, you successfully dropped the kids off at school. Yes, you remembered to feed the cat. But have you ever tried to find the Cayenne pepper? I don't know  about you, but there are a lot of spices in our kitchen cabinet.

Dad Disease does not discriminate, and it's roots are genetic, environmental and downright innate. Dad Disease does not improve with time, and eventually leads to forgetting important dates, such as your anniversary and wife's birthday. 

There is a simple cure, though. It takes just a minute of your time, and you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home.

Unfortunately, I've forgotten it.

Sharing a Childhood Passion

Old Wahoo rediscovered his baseball card collection last week as I tried to help the kids with a school project, and I reveled in my sports geek-dom. I found all kinds of cool stuff, from 7-11 Slurpee Discs (like this) to my favorite, a John Riggins football card (the one pictured at left).

It was hard to stay focused, but I had a job to do. The kindergartner had to complete a 100th day of school poster that included 100 items of any type. Not wanting to cut out 100 pictures of cats or some other animal, I suggested using 100 baseball cards. I knew gluing the cards on poster board would ruin the value of the cards, but considering most are worth only a couple of cents (if that), I figured it would be a good way to share something I enjoyed when I was a kid.

The kindergartner was lukewarm to the idea, but the second-grader thought it was great. He and I crawled into the back of the attic, and knelt in the corner with a flashlight, flipping through card after card (I even think I hurt my knee a little bit). We found all types of cards, including many that I forgot I had, such as Olympic champions, baseball legends and old basketball stars. We also discovered a bunch of Star Wars cards from the early 1980s, and fortunately that struck a chord with the kindergartner, who agreed to use those for his poster.

I was glad to help him with his project, but I was more excited that the second-grader enjoyed looking at the cards with me. After all, I saved the cards with the idea that I could share them with my children, and it was nice to share a passion with your children without forcing it on them.

Words of the Week

We watched a feature on the 30th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice with the kids yesterday. I still get chills whenever I hear this call.

"Do you believe in miracles? Yes!"

- Al Michaels, calling the end of Team USA's victory over the USSR in 1980

Happy Blogday

Old Wahoo celebrates the first anniversary of the blog this week, and I would like to thank everyone for reading and participating in what has become an enjoyable outlet for me.

In my first posting a year ago, I tried to outline what I hoped to accomplish with the blog.

With the good times and the bad times in mind, I'm looking to remember the fun, find ways to solve problems and learn from the experiences of others. 

I'm not sure I've always stayed focused - in fact, I know I've wandered off topic a number of times - but the blog has given me a creative outlet that I look forward to every day. I've enjoyed hearing from others, and I thank everyone for their comments, time and help.

The Moose Sings

The Moose made Mrs. Wahoo proud by singing - unprompted - the chorus to "Walk Through the Fire" from the Buffy musical. Of course, Buffy is the all-time favorite show in the Old Wahoo household (or at least the part the Nielsen ratings measure), and Mrs. Wahoo laughed like a happy woman. (I'm not sure Grandma Wahoo will be as appreciative).

Words of the Week

Abraham Lincoln raised four sons and somehow managed to keep his sense of humor.*

"I have three walnuts and each wants two."

- Abraham Lincoln (from Carl Sandburg's biography)

*Unfortunately, Lincoln's personal life also was filled with tragedy. Only one of his sons reached adulthood.

Another Father's Thoughts

Dan Heaton, a friend and former colleague of Old Wahoo, answers some questions on fatherhood as Another Father's Thoughts returns after a hiatus. Dan has shared some stories of his family life in The Macomb Daily.

Age? 43 on 2-12.
Number of children and their ages? 4. Sons ages 16, 13 (14 on 2-29) and 11. Daughter, 8. (Wife: Kim, married 18 1/2 years).
Occupation? Public relations. Part-time church minister. 
What is the best part about being a father? 
The answer to this question has changed over the years, as the kids have grown older. What I enjoy most now, particularly with my sons as they are in their teens years, is watching them develop talents that are totally their own. I really enjoy discussing their future dreams and ideas with them. I get excited over the potential opportunities that stretch out before them. 
For example, my two oldest sons are musicians in guitar and saxophone, respectively. Neither my wife nor I have any talent in that area. So, I get to learn along with them as they become musicians. 
What is the toughest challenge you face as a father? 
Part of the challenge for me is remembering each child has his/her own likes, dislikes and interests. They don’t have to be interested in the things I am interested in. I do try my best, however, to be interested in the things they are interested in. 
How do you balance career and family responsibilities? What kind of challenges does you career present?
This is a challenge. A number of years ago, I began to feel a call on my life to increase my activity in the church. I have been attending seminary on a part-time basis for 6 years and began serving as a part-time assistant pastor in my church about 1.5 years ago. Fortunately, my “day job” is very regular in terms of hours. 
One thing I do is say “no” to all requests on my time in the summer. I try to earmark the 3 months or so that the kids are out of school in the summer to doing things with them. 
The other thing is that I am blessed with a supportive wife who is the foundation of our family. 
How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? Do you have different responsibilities or duties, either small or large?
In a lot of ways, parents seem to be more involved in every aspect of children’s lives now and I don’t think that’s always a good thing. I want my kids to go out and roam the neighborhood. To see what is out there. To organize a game of ball in the street without me having to do it -- though nothing beats a few innings of slow pitch in the street on a summer night after work! I want them to learn to be independent, without having to rely exclusively on mom and dad. 
The one thing I do try to do is not to be my kids’ friend. They have lots of friends. They only have one father. I have fun with them, tease them, goof off with them, and often do the things with them that a friend might do, but at the end of the day, I am there to teach them and raise them, not just to say “yes” to whatever they want. 
I try to share all aspects of raising the kids with my wife, though she is the one who is home with them more than I am. 
What’s the best advice about fatherhood that you’ve received?
Spend time with the kids now, because they grow fast. That’s so true. It is hard to believe how fast the years have flown by.

Thanks Dan.

Work and the Family Man

The Wall Street Journal's The Juggle blog has an interesting post on whether work-family policies discriminate against men. 

When the boys were born, I took a week of vacation to help out (and that help was woefully weak, consisting mostly of badly changed diapers), and my wife probably wanted me out of the house by the end of the week. Nevertheless, I think it worked out pretty well overall.

I'm wondering what other people think. Did any other Dads take vacation time or some type of family leave from work? Were you happy with the situation? Do rules need to change?

Words of the Week

Old Wahoo just started reading Michael Lewis' "Home Game," a collection of essays on fatherhood. Lewis also wrote the book "Moneyball" and the book upon which the Academy Award-nominated film "The Blind Side" is based.

"... I realized that all around me fathers were pretending to do one thing, and feel one way, when in fact they were doing and feeling all sorts of things, and then engaging afterward in what amounted to an extended coverup."

- Michael Lewis, "Home Game"

Shake What?

This is the boys' new favorite song.

Be afraid.

Very afraid.

Tuned In, Tuned Out?

The New York Times' Room for Debate blog asked five panelists (including UVa grad and Cavalier Daily alum Lisa Guernsey) about media overload affecting our kids. All five experts offer good advice, though I worry that the saturation of media in all of our lives (from work to home) affects our children.

As more work goes online, the line between work and leisure increasing becomes blurred for parents, and I believe our kids pick up on this. Also, I believe that parents set the tone not just by setting guidelines for their children for TV and computer time but also through their own use. Parents are role models, and kids ape them. Maybe I'm just over-emphasizing my own experiences, but on days I use the computer a lot, the boys want to use the computer more. In short, their best remedy may be my own best remedy: exercise more, read more, play more. 

It's time to turn off the computer.

Words of the Week

In honor of February's first "holiday," a quote from one of Bill Murray's best movies.

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

- Phil Connors (Bill Murray) in "Groundhog Day"