While I know I should limit the kids' exposure to TV, I have to be realistic: they are going to watch college basketball with me. So they may as well know some common truths: North Carolina is evil, and Virginia (even when bad) is good. North Carolina, I'm convinced, made a deal with the Devil to win national titles in 1982 and '93. (Remember, the Heels won both of those games in New Orleans, the home of black magic, on crazy plays: Georgetown's Fred Brown passed the ball to James Worthy in '82, and Michigan's Chris Webber walked twice before calling a nonexistent timeout in '93).* Really, these are the only ground rules for watching college basketball with me, and the kids will know these by heart.
Perhaps more importantly, college basketball can show the kids that anything is possible. College basketball embraces the cliched-laden spectacle of March Madness, from the Big Dance to Cinderella, and those phrases can help the lazy parent pass on values such as hard work and never-give-up-ability (I like that word) to their couch-ridden children. Just talk about the amazing run of the 1983 N.C. State Wolfpack or the 1985 Villanova Wildcats (and try to have a selective memory, please), and tell them anything is possible.
Then, of course, there's Dick Vitale, and who wouldn't want him baby-sitting your children? In fact, I actually thought about imitating Mr. Vitale this morning when one of the kids starting acting up. I wanted to scream "YOU NEED A T-O, BABY!" at a misbehaving child, but then I imagined the look I would get from Mrs. Wahoo.
Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor. And sometimes I think I need a new favorite sport.
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