Links of the Week

Here are a couple of items of interest this week.

The first is this set of tips for back to school success from the National Fatherhood Initiative.

The second is a profile on pastor Kendall Granger, an East St. Louis man who is trying to address the problem of families without fathers. He was featured on Tom Brokaw's series on discovering the character of America.

Sleepytime

Old Wahoo loves sleep, especially now that the three boys make a nap an almost daily necessity for the old man. But with school getting ready to start here in the Great Lakes State, the time has come to rearrange the boys' sleep patterns. If we learned one thing, a tired kid is a cranky kid. Thus, sleep is our friend.

The Motherlode blog at The New York Times had a nice article with tips on getting your kids on a sleep schedule for school. But as the author Lisa Belkin says, even following good advice does not always lead to the intended result. The best laid plans of mice and men ... 

Sleep schedules are a much bigger hassle for Mrs. Wahoo since my work schedule takes me out of the rotation for at least three school nights a week. Getting the kids to sleep is tough even when it's two parents against three boys, but one parent vs. three boys ... even Norman Dale couldn't lead the Hickory Huskers against those kind of odds. And since I get home late, I'm usually cranky or worthless in the morning, so Mrs. Wahoo has that going against her, too.

Anyway, I was just wondering what worked for everyone else, or if you all had similar worries about sleep schedules. If you'd like, leave a comment below, or give me an e-mail at john.hetzler@gmail.com.

EDITED: To fix e-mail address.

Not Ready for Cool School

Old Wahoo took the Moose to Car City Records the other day to try to sell some old CDs.

That was a mistake, because Old Wahoo's ego took a hit as he did not quite fit the cool quotient.

Car City Records looks like a record store should - dusty and musty with tons of CDs and vinyl records stashed in cardboard boxes. Nothing fancy, but plenty of street cred.

Old Wahoo, of course, lacks street cred, and there's nothing more loser-like than rolling up to the record store in our Town and Country van. I waltz in with the 2-year-old in one hand and a stack of CDs in an old soup box in the other. I look around and see and hear nothing. Not even crickets.

Finally, I spy the clerk - a late 20s guy with a receding mullet and pale skin except for the black circles under his eyes - sitting in the corner, trying either to ignore or hide from me. His attitude doesn't dissuade me, though. I walk over and ask him if they buy used CDs.

"Yes, but the young country on the top isn't a good sign," he said with as little emotion as possible.

I tried to shrug off the rebuke.

"You mean you don't want to buy my Taylor Swift CDs?" 

I laugh.

No reaction.

After a moment, he speaks again. "It's just not our audience," he said flatly.

I recognize the obvious. I don't fit in there. Never have, never will.

That's fine, I guess, though deep down I wish I was hip, that I was cool, that this guy wanted to buy my sweet "Storm Front" disc by Billy Joel.

I always think my kids still think I'm cool, and I guess I hope they think I always am.

But there will be a day, if it's not already here, when they think I am anything but cool.

That's OK. 'Cause I'm not.

And it didn't need a trip to Car City Classics to figure that out.

Words of the Week

Let's laugh a lot this week.

"A joke is a very serious thing." - Winston Churchill

An APBA Replay

Old Wahoo fondly remembers the summer of 1981. At age 8, I had just finished my second season of T-Ball, playing second base for the Reds, who won a dramatic playoff for second place (clearly my Little League highlight). 

I lived for baseball. I watched every game I could - loved the Game of the Week on NBC with Joe Garagiola and Tony Kubek. I was a baseball geek.

Of course, there was one major problem in 1981. A players' strike wiped out the middle part of the season, robbing six weeks of baseball from fans and causing the Cincinnati Reds to miss the playoffs despite having the best record in the National League.

But Old Wahoo's dad saved baseball that summer, at least for me, by ordering APBA Baseball, a dice board game that allowed fans to play their own ballgames and seasons with "real players" based on actual statistics. 

So during the strike, my dad and I replayed the 1980 season. My dad had played APBA as a kid, and now he was passing the fun on to me. 

Dad made up a schedule and pitching matchups for all the games, and then we dove in. Dad quickly taught me the rules - how the big, red die was the tens number, and the white die was the one - and how to use the various charts for each situation (i.e., bases empty, runner on first, etc.)

I wanted to play all the time, and soon I was playing games while Dad was at work, faithfully keeping score so we could keep season stats. 

(But Old Wahoo did skew the stats a bit. Chagrined to find out that Reggie Jackson actually struck out - a lot - I would sometimes give ol' Reggie a couple extra rolls until he came up with a roll of 66 - a home run - or at least hit a double. My dad, of course, was up to my tricks, and he would shake his head disapprovingly when I told him that Reggie had another two-homer game against the Orioles.)

We were true geeks, and I'm sure my mother and younger brother thought we were nuts. But it got us through the strike, and for baseball nuts, that was great.

Recently, the New York Times had an article about the annual APBA baseball tournament, and it took me back to the games with my dad. (The Times' baseball blog, Bats, also had a post about a 1956 APBA replay.)

With the fantasy sports boom, with all the technological challenges, it's hard to believe that the board game is still around at all. APBA has a computer game - my dad bought it, of course - but the traditional tabletop format remains its trademark.

Thanks to APBA, my dad and I bonded. My brother and I played catch with Dad after his work, and when it got dark, we played APBA.

It was the best.

Fighting Against the (Ice Cream) Man

According to this article in The New York Times, there is a groundswell forming against ice cream men around the country. 

While I can certainly sympathize that the ice cream men and their trucks can be annoying, unwanted and even creepy at times, all of this ice-cream scream seems like a bad dream. 

Parents have power, and they can wield it however they want. They can write letters and try to ban ice cream trucks (certainly worth doing if there is a creepy or criminal element, as mentioned in the Chicago case). 

But parents also have power over their kids. It may be difficult telling them they can't have ice cream every day, and parents, including me, have real struggles doing so. Still, this should be a good teaching moment. As the Rolling Stones sing, "You can't always get what you want."

Or just listen to the sage words of Mr. Softee himself, Hilary Guishard of Brooklyn, as reported in the New York Times.

“But moms have a choice,” he said. “We should be mature enough to tell our kids, ‘No.’ "

Wanting the trucks to go away “is not a valid issue,” he said, adding, “It’s like a mother being angry at a store being at a particular corner.” Besides, the ice cream man isn’t forever.

“It’s summer,” he said, sighing. “It’s only four months.”

Fitness feedback

Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts and tips on struggling to stay fit. I appreciate all the feedback, and I received a lot of helpful advice from you guys via e-mail and facebook. 

Marathon man Dave Cohen sent an e-mail that I could relate to, though I can't hang with his running. Pretty impressive. 

Here's what he said:

I started running last June (right before we moved from MI) and have gotten really into it... I am doing my first marathon (NY Marathon) in November and am running 55 miles a week, which is kind of nuts.

 

I think the big thing for me was initially I wanted to get in shape ... I also signed up for a 10K last summer (my first race) and that was good motivation as well.  In general, its always nice to have goals that are obtainable to keep you going... After I finish one race, I usually find another to sign up for.  I also like to set time goals for the races which cause me to work on building miles, faster time, etc... but in the beginning the biggest thing is just getting out there are running. The first day I ran I couldn't run for 1/2 mile (serious) which was shocking and kind of embarrassing. 

 

before last year, I always had excuses not to exercise also and the longest I had sustained exercise since the age of 18 was probably 4 months.  As a parent, it is easy to feel bad taking time away from the kids, wife, etc.. I have been tired and usually force myself to go out and run.

 

I rationalized it in one sense because I think encouraging health and fitness for the kids is a good goal, so watching me exercise may help them value that in life as well.  Obviously (my wife) has been very supportive in tolerating my training schedule, which usually involves me leaving the house for 2-3 hour runs every Saturday.  The only hard part is sometimes I get too drained of energy or my legs are sore and then I can't play soccer or tag with (my kids) which i feel bad about.

 

Its good to have a schedule because that can keep you on track and not allow slacking off (obviously can be modified if there are extenuating circumstances)\

I wish I could run at 5 am but find it so hard to get up then.. on days I go in late, I run in the AM.. other days I run after work.  but you are right in that it takes time from the kids;.

 

Also, there are cool "toys" that can keep you motivated... such as a GPS watchhttp://www.amazon.com/Garmin-Forerunner-Receiver-Heart-Monitor/dp/B000CSWCQA which tells your pace and distance you are running, and shows you the route, pace etc on the computer

 

for the ipod there is the nike+ attachment which is similar..and a lot cheaper... not as fancy or accurate but still can give you info on pace, distance, and can keep track of runs on the computer

Keep up the good work and good luck training for the marathon. Thanks for the e-mail, Dave.

And here's a link for the Nike+ipod.

Words of the Week

Parenting advice from my grandmother. Get well soon.

"This too shall pass." - Iris Hetzler

Alex the Lion-Hearted

Old Wahoo's second son, Alex, celebrates his fifth birthday today.

Alex has the biggest heart. He idolizes his older brother, he wants happiness and when someone asks him "Who's the best?", he answers, "Everyone's the best."

He is lots of things to lots of people. "Sweet Al" to his Uncle Clark, "Xander" to his ZaZa and "Alex" to his friends. (And "Alexander" when he gets in trouble.)

Happy Birthday, Alex.

EDITED to include picture of the A-Man.

Struggling to Stay Fit

Old Wahoo read a post today on the Washington Post's On Parenting Blog about staying active with your young kids. I thought it was a great idea to run together with other dads and their kids, but more importantly, the dads have found a routine that works and have stuck to it.

To me, that's crucial. I've started to run finally, and I like it, but if I don't stick to a routine, I get lazy. Why? Because I am lazy, and because objects at rest stay at rest. Conversely, objects in motion, stay in motion. 

Unfortunately, I'm good at coming up with excuses for staying at rest. I've got to watch the kids. I have too much work to do. I need to go to the grocery store. And the No. 1 weakest reason: I'm tired.

Fortunately, my wife bought me an iPod for my birthday, and she helped convince me to run in a 5K, which I did a couple of weeks ago in Alden, up on Torch Lake in northern Michigan. I was extremely slow, but I finished the race, which was the goal.

One problem: I've only run once since then. I need another race. I need to stay on track and keep rolling.

I'm interested to know how other moms and dads (and everyone else) find time to exercise. Let me know in the comments below or e-mail me at john.hetzler@gmail.com.

Now it's time to go running.

EDITED to fix e-mail address.

Another Father's Thoughts

I talked to my cousin David Meeks about his views on fatherhood, raising teen-agers and learning how to text.
Age? 43
Number of children and their ages? Two, 17 and 14
Occupation? Deployed Forces Coordinator (for the Navy)
What is it like raising two teen-agers? They’re a lot busier. It’s crazy now that Ryan can drive. So we never see him. We’re fortunate that they’re still highly involved with events and sports or whatever so we’re able to keep tabs on them.
Now they have decisions they have to make that can actually shape the rest of their lives. Who they go out, what they do, they make their own decisions. When they’re younger, you try to teach them the right things. Now you hope they were listening. There’s a lot of responsibility for them. Trying to guide them earlier in life was easier than it is now.
But they’re two great kids who allow us to be involved in what they do. We haven’t had any of the teen-age issues that you hear about.
How do you balance career and family responsibilities? What kind of challenges does you career present? A lot of it is when I’m traveling, and I do travel a lot. That gets in the way of some big things. Ryan being a senior, I have to try to juggle what can I miss when I’m away. These are big events. Obviously we have graduation coming up, and proms. Trying to juggle my travel schedule, I will miss some things. These are some big checkmarks on the list that you don’t want to miss. I made it clear that I won’t miss graduation. But there are some things I will miss.
For Jenna, I did miss some (softball) tournaments. (David is a coach for her travel team). But if I didn’t have my job, I wouldn’t be able to pay for the travel for the softball. The biggest thing is the travel part because I do have a great schedule. Every day I’m off early so I can get to practice. And I have a very accommodating boss.
How has fatherhood changed since you were a child? How are you a different father than your father? My dad never had to learn how to text message. 

Trying to keep up with the technology that your kids use is tough. But that’s how we communicate. If you call them, they will not answer the phone. But if you text them, you get an answer right away.
We were always at the house, either outside playing or inside the house. Kids today don’t play around the house. They have to go do things. They have a lot more freedom than we had, and I think the technology has helped that. They can go across town, and we can keep in touch with them. There’s a lot more distance than we were kids.
What is the best part about being a father? When other people come up from all different types of situation and tell you how good your kids were or how grown up or mature they were in certain situations. That just makes you so proud that they’re able to act that mature even when we’re not there.
That just is awesome, especially when you’re away and you have to entrust your kids with other people. ... That I think really gives me the best feeling in the world.

Summer Projects

Old Wahoo finally got to building a model Wall-E with the kids, and though it looks a little rough (OK, a lot rough), it's kind of cool working to build something with them.

Though we haven't finished yet, that hasn't stopped me from looking for more cool stuff. I've run across another cool project to work on with them: a kid-friendly catapult. If that's not the most you-asked-for-it idea out there, I don't know what is.

The Kid in Us

Old Wahoo admits he likes to play computer games, and, yes, he's glad the grandparents bought the boys Railroad Tycoon 3 for their birthday. (Next year, Grandma and Gramps, you can give them Tiger Woods 10.) 

But Old Wahoo was surprised to find Mrs. Wahoo playing a game (on Webkinz, no less). Sorry to spoil her secret, but it makes me feel a little less guilty when I'm wasting time surfing the Web.

Words for the Week

I'm embracing my inner schmaltz.

"Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans."

- John Lennon

Putt-Putt for the @#!&*! Fun of It

As a kid, Old Wahoo loved miniature golf. I used to go to the putt-putt in Cradock with my brother and my grandparents, and I always wanted to play more.

So as a father, taking the three boys to play putt-putt should be natural. I should love it. I should enjoy the time spent together.

But after playing 36 holes of miniature golf for the not-so-small sum of $48.50, I hope I never see another putt-putt course. It was an excruciating experience in which the kids shut off their ears, ignored me at every opportunity and clowned around the area. Which, I know, is basically what kids do when they play putt-putt. I'm sure I did the same thing.

Still, I can't help wishing that the boys would follow some simple putt-putt etiquette. Such as listening. Or waiting until the ball has stopped before taking another shot. Or actually aiming before putting. Or holding the putter correctly. Or waiting for their partners to finish before going on to the next hole. 

After all, if they become good enough, they always could try the pro tour.