When the boys were born, I took a week of vacation to help out (and that help was woefully weak, consisting mostly of badly changed diapers), and my wife probably wanted me out of the house by the end of the week. Nevertheless, I think it worked out pretty well overall.
I'm wondering what other people think. Did any other Dads take vacation time or some type of family leave from work? Were you happy with the situation? Do rules need to change?
John, I suspect the fact that you were THERE meant a lot more to Laura than anything else.
ReplyDeleteDave took a month off - paid - with Connor, I got 12 weeks paid. CA offers paid leave to both parents (it's not free, our state taxes were massive) and I believe it runs simultaneously with federal FMLA. When Andrew was born - in VA - he tried to take time off, but it mostly ended up that he was working from home. Lots of work! It was pretty crummy. We haven't decided what to do with this next one yet - Dave will likely work from home a bit and take some additional time after my Mom leaves.
ReplyDeleteIn CA, even at my firm, a pretty traditional financial services company, it was expected that men would take their 4 weeks of leave, either in one chunk, or spread out a day here and a day there. In VA, when you talk about paternity leave, people look at you funny. Like they've never heard of it, or they're confusing it with paternity test or something.
Given what science has taught us about what infants need in those first few months of life, I'd like to see the rules change. I think it would make life easier on a lot of working families. That being said, I don't know how much I'd want to pay for it :-) which, I recognize, is a big part of any change.
How's that for a non-answer??
I think Beryl is right. I hear alot of Mom's who feel woefully unprepared to manage parenthood. It helps alot to have a partner to share the struggle and to help feel protected. Women feel surprisingly vulnerable post partum and having a husband/father there feels protective and loving.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments!
ReplyDelete